Of Drowning in Waters Beyond Mars
by ThatBigBlueBox
Summary: In which she realizes he doesn't need her, and he realizes how much he does.
1. Chapter 1

**AN- Hello! Here's another with Romana, this time meeting Ten, directly after Waters of Mars in his timeline. Hope you enjoy, and leave a review if you feel like it! :)**

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"Madame President, I really don't like the idea of you going on these missions yourself. Some of them are quite dangerous, and-"

Romana silenced the technician with a sharp eye boring into his soul.

"I am the President of Gallifrey," she replied tightly. "I fought in the war, and I won't let some silly old thing like a bit of danger keep me grounded."

One hundred years had passed since Romana's first postwar visit to the Prime Universe, and she had tirelessly continued her work on restoring Gallifrey to the planet's former glory. She had created a whole new generation of Loomchildren who were educated to be more sympathetic to those that were not of their kind, and although she knew that these things would take Time, she was not giving up. Not ever. She had made a promise to herself and to Gallifrey that she would raise a better world out of the ashes of war, and that promise could not go broken. And now, she had introduced a new stratagem to help recreate a greater Gallifrey: the return to the Prime Universe.

Ever since the Doctor had locked the planet away in the pocket universe, the lack of Vortex had grated on every single Time Lord's nerves. It was nearly painful at first, but they'd adapted, albeit begrudgingly. In the first years after the war, there had been something akin to mass panic, as everyone realized at once that their Temporal Eyes had been closed indefinitely. It was soon linked to the lack of Time Vortex, and that was when Romana introduced the resolution in the High Council to move the planet back into its former Galactic Coordinates of the Prime Universe.

But they were only in the initial stages of the plan. They first had to find a Time period that was far, far away from the scourges of the Time War. Anything too close, and they would alert the many races who still despised the Time Lords for their many crimes during the War. Romana knew they could amend those wrongs, but it would take Time for all those other species to forgive.

Thus, the missions. Teams were sent out from Gallifrey in TARDISes through tiny rips that had accumulated on the fabric of their pocket universe in the years since they had been shoved into it. Little tears in the universe were all they needed. The TARDIS could slip through, and they surveyed the Time period as well as the sentiment toward Time Lords in that period.

At first, Romana had appointed her best generals to lead the missions, but after seeing them come back from one particularly bad mission bloodied and very near regenerating, she swore to herself that she would supervise as many of these quests as she possibly could.

Hence the chagrin of the technicians. And her top advisors, and all her generals, and…

She rolled her eyes briefly, though not before angling her head away from anyone who could see. She fought on the front lines during the war. She very well could handle herself, and anything that was thrown at her.

She stepped into the TARDIS, feeling the consciousness embrace her mind. She had never grown too accostumed with any one TARDIS, but they all seemed to enjoy her presence fairly well, so she accepted that.

The others on her team took their positions at the console, and Romana smiled. Some of them, a few of the newer ones appointed to be pilots, appeared nervous, and she couldn't say she blamed them. Most of the newer pilots were nearly children with few memories of the Prime Universe. Some hadn't even gotten the chance to look into the Untempered Schism. Romana pitied them and envied them, for they were nearing the age that they would go mad with the power the Schism would bring them, making it far too dangerous for them to gaze into the raw expanse of Time and Space. None of them could regenerate. None of them had titles.

"All right," Romana said, her tone commanding, but she smiled at all of them with warmth. The last thing she wanted to do was make them feel intimidated by her presence. "Let's get started. Solandrium, the helmic regulator?"

"Ready, Madame President."

"Paladvoran, are the coordinates accurate?"

"Yes, Madame President."

"Riandra, the Time Continuum meter?"

"Steady, Madame President."

"And Alondvora, how are our shields?"

"Primed, Madame President."

Romana surveyed all of them quickly, before nodding with a quick smile.

"Then I believe we are ready for dematerialization." The Time Lady in charge said, keeping her voice steady as she released the handbrake, pulling back several levers while at the same Time depressing buttons of many colors. She pulled down the dematerialization lever. "Let's be off."

The TARDIS jerked awake, coughing violently into life as it attempted miserably to dematerialize into something that clearly was not the proper Time Vortex, but an engineered replica. The ship despised it, but she clearly knew she was going somewhere better, for she worked quickly to move them towards the fissure.

Everything shuddered as they hit the fissure, the lights flickering woefully as they passed through the sliver of the Void that just barely separated the Prime Universe from the pocket. Several of the crew members lost their balance, their knees buckling underneath them as they struggled to stay upright in the quaking ship. And then, silence.

Romana sighed as the feeling of her Timesense was restored to her. She met the eyes of Alondvora, the latter Time Lady grinning widely. She had been one of the last Gallifreyans to be dragged up to the Schism at the unthinkable age of two, forced to stare at it as a last ditch effort by the High Council to create as many battle-ready Time Lords and Ladies as possible. Now, she had access to her Temporal Eye for the very first Time, and Romana could only imagine what it felt like.

But then, something changed. Both Alondvora and Romana cringed as something… dreadful attacked their Timesenses simultaneously. Alondvora clutched her head and keeled over, while Romana, though used to this sort of Temporal disturbance from the Time War, merely grimaced, gritting her teeth as her lips curled. Immediately, she established her telepathic barriers, blocking out any telepathy or Temporal signatures. She felt numb again without the senses, but the latter was nothing she hadn't gotten used to in the pocket.

"What- what is it, Madame President?" Palandvoran asked nervously. "What's… wrong with Alondvora?"

"She and I are the only ones here who are sensitive to Time," she murmured, going over to kneel by the woman, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "There's a fixed point that's been broken here." She took Alondvora's face in her hands and brushed her thumbs carefully over the woman's temples. Alondvora sighed, closing her eyes, her body going limp. "She isn't used to feeling it yet. She shouldn't ever have to get used to it, actually, but that's beside the point. She'll only be in pain if she comes with us. We'll have to leave her behind."

The other three Time Lords looked hesitant, but none said anything of it. Romana sprung up from her crouch, turning to the door.

"I wouldn't blame any of you if you chose to stay behind," the President spoke, partly as an honest option, and partly as a test. "There's a fixed point, broken out there. Anything could be happening out there."

There was clear hesitance behind her, and Romana could almost feel the shared glances, to which she smiled a little. She had shown the same hesitance in her early days of leading, and she had even felt it inwardly when she was chosen to help find the Key to Time so long ago.

"No," Riandra was the first to speak. Romana turned around, her expression now blank. "No, we'll come." Internally, Romana's stomach leapt in satisfaction, though she made sure to display none of it openly. "We're a team, and we're already one down. We have to join you."

"Good," Romana said, half of her focus going towards blocking out the piercing sensation of the shattered fixed point rubbing at the back of her mind. "Now, let's go. We must fix this."

Romana led them outside, her military boots crunching in pristine white snow. She could tell they were on Earth, perhaps sometime in the middle 21st Century. It appeared to be a flat complex, middle class more likely than not. She motioned for Riandra to watch behind her, and she stepped quietly away from the TARDIS with her team. Her hand drifted to her gun, prepared to fire in the case of a threat.

But nothing could have prepared her for the sight just around the corner.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN- Hello again! Here's the second and final chapter of this little two shot. I hope you guys enjoy it; the ending was kind of iffy for me, but I thought I'd go for it. And if you feel like it please do leave a favorite or review! :)**

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She signaled for the other three Time Lords to remain silent as her eyes watched the blue box before them darkly. She had a very bad feeling about this.

A tall, skinny man Romana instantly recognized as the Doctor stepped from the TARDIS followed by two women and one man. The three humans were walking around, shock evident on all of their faces. But what stunned Romana was the expression the Doctor held.

It was an expression she had seen on innumerable Time Lords during the War. It was the fire of madness, of having seen and gone through too much, but there was… something more to it in the Doctor.

In her old friend, it was the look of victory. Of… age old grief, morphed and melded into mad recklessness. She had always known he was a bit mad, but… this was something more.

The two younger humans scurried away in- was that fear?- and the older woman said a few more things to the Doctor before she walked away, into her apartment. Once the older woman was gone, Romana whispered a quiet command to her team, ordering them to stay there while she dealt with this.

Because whatever this was… it was incredibly different.

"Excuse me," she said as she approached the Doctor, feigning ignorance and keeping her mental shields up so that he couldn't recognize her presence. For the first Time, she was actually grateful that none of those on her team had telepathic ability as pronounced as a Time Lord.

The Doctor turned around with a slight start as she called out to him. He opened his mouth to speak, but Romana was quicker.

"I couldn't help but notice you and your box… appear out of nowhere," she said, keeping her voice even, adapting the speech patterns of the Time. "Is it magic?"

The Doctor glanced her over, and for the first Time in all the Time she had known him, he looked the epitome of a Time Lord.

"You wouldn't understand," he spat harshly, and Romana pretended to flinch. "Not in this Time."

"In this… Time?" Romana paused for dramatic effect. "Well, why don't you tell me?"

"No one understands," he continued on, as though he hadn't even heard her. His eyes glazed over slightly. "Not ever again. I'm the… last."

Romana's hearts broke for him, and she felt mildly ill. Of _course_. He still believed he burned Gallifrey.

"The last of… what?" she murmured in a voice barely above a whisper, struggling to keep up the appearance.

"Of a race that upheld thousands of silly little laws, protecting silly little people," he snarled suddenly, his gaze growing fiery, and Romana felt she could hardly recognize her old friend. "They thought they could control me. All my life, they held me back. But then they died. They all _died_. Leaving me. Alone. For the longest Time, for the longest Time, I thought I had to abide by those old rules, those ancient rules, but I know better now. I've watched people die for so, _so_ long. I've grown so… _so_ tired, leaving people behind, letting them perish, and all the Time, I've been ignoring the simple fact. I'm the last. The winner. The Time Lord, Victorious."

Throughout his speech, Romana was silent, her hearts a mixture of slight sadness, but mostly fury, as it all fell into place. _He_ had broken the fixed point. _He_ had grown out of his already massive head and gone absolutely bonkers.

Romana had heard enough. She let her barriers drop.

It took a moment, but when that moment struck, it was like a lash to the Time Lord's face. He stumbled back in shock and horror.

"You're… you're a-"

"I am Lady President Romanadvoratrelundar of Gallifrey," she bit sharply, her face losing any semblance of calm. "And _you_ , Lord _Doctor_ -" She spat his name in disgust. "-have broken the _most_ important rule, which has existed ever since Rassilon and Omega created our kind. _You_ have upset Time, and _you_ have shattered that which must _never_ be shattered-"

Suddenly, Romana was cut off by a gunshot. The sound echoed from the flat the woman had gone into earlier. Immediately, the Time Lady felt Time shifting, the flux points adapting and the fixed point healing. That woman had been the fixed point. She was meant to die, and she must have known enough about her situation that she took care of the job herself.

The Doctor grew intensely pale as he saw the Timelines fall back into place at the same Time as Romana did. His breath grew short.

"I've… I've gone too far," he muttered in nothing but horror, falling to his knees in the snow. He looked up at Romana, standing over him with her hands on her hips.

"Is this it?" he asked with a shout. "My death?"

Romana swallowed the lump in her throat, forcing herself to remain stern. She took his arm, pulling him up to his feet.

"Come on," she said, seeing that his fire had passed from his eyes. "Let's go, Doctor."

He flinched when she took his arm, but he allowed her to pull her up.

"You're not…" he realized with a broken voice. "You're not a hallucination, or-?"

"I'm not," she admitted, deciding it was okay for the moment. She would deal with his memories later. "Come on. My team is waiting for me. But they can wait."

"Your… team…?"

Romana did not answer his questioning tone, turning around to her team. She motioned to Riandra to wait for her in the TARDIS. The other woman appeared hesitant at first, but Romana nodded in insistence. Turning back around to the blue box she once called home, she took the Doctor by the arm, the doors swinging open easily for them. The lights were darkened, the old ship knowing exactly what was wrong with her Thief.

Romana led him to the library, a spot that had brought both of them peace back when she traveled with him. She made him sit down on one of the plush couches, and she sat down on the couch opposite.

"Doctor," she said plainly, folding her arms over her chest. His gaze was focused darkly on the ground, refusing to meet her eyes. "Doctor, look at me."  
"You can't be real," his breath shuddered as he spoke. "Can't be, I…"

"Listen, you think you burned us. I understand, I was there-"

"I _think_?!" the man's head whipped up in fury, and Romana thought she saw a remaining spark of that madness in him, though it soon died with his next words. "I was- _there._ " His voice dropped to a whisper. "Romana, I… spoke to you. Over the hologram. I used the Moment. Killed you all." He swallowed hard. "And now you're back to haunt me. Suppose you took your Time, didn't you." His face twisted into a grimacing grin.

"Oh, you-" Romana huffed, frustration peaking. "I'm not haunting you. I was _trying_ to complete a mission for Gallifrey, when _you_ and your _Rassilon-forsaken_ fixed point attacked my Timesense!" She quieted her voice. "Doctor… what did you do?"

"I…" The blue suited man rubbed his face over with his palm in sheer exhaustion. "...never meant for it to happen. I landed on Mars, just for… fun, never meant to land in… this Time. Bowie Base One."

"Oh, Doctor," Romana murmured in fear. Bowie Base One was monumental in Earth history. "You saved them."

"I didn't mean to," he protested, however weakly. "I was just… I was walking away from the base, it was exploding, and I was hearing all their voices in my head, and I was just… so _tired_. Of people dying. Losing people. I couldn't… I wasn't…"

Romana knew the symptoms of post traumatic stress, and she also knew that it wasn't a solely human condition. He fit the bill in every way. To suffer through the war, then spend centuries alone, with no telepathic contact, as the sole bearer of Time…

Romana suddenly felt very, very guilty for ordering his post Time War self- the angst ridden and probably suicidal Northern one- to live.

She reached over to touch his hand, sending light telepathic waves over to him. His eyes flickered up in alarm, but it was that gesture that made him know.

"You… _are_ real," he murmured, his voice cracking. "Romana, my Romana…"

"Yes. I am," the Time Lady responded. "Doctor, I'm sorry about everything that's happened. That… you had to be the one to carry it all for the rest of us. But you have more to do. You mustn't throw it all away for some stupid, reckless power trip that ends in the universe's destruction."

"I… I know," he said, averting his eyes again. "I'm sorry Romana."

"Don't apologize to me," she said sternly. "I have to go soon, back to Gallifrey, so our people have a leader. And you'll have to forget this, so you can go on, being you. But don't forget this: you are a good man. This universe needs you, Doctor. You've done so much good. There's so much more you have left to do. Be the Doctor again."

The pinstriped Time Lord stared up at her as she rose to her feet, emotion welling up in his eyes.

"Romana…" he began, before the lump in his throat stopped him short. He took a deep breath, starting again. "Romana, I… need you."

"Don't be daft," she said firmly, rolling her eyes. "You went on fine both before and after you and I rattled about. We'll meet again, I promise you. But for now, you'll do fine without me."

She sat down on the couch next to him.

"Why do you always find yourself in these situations when I show up?" Her voice was teasing.

"That's just you," he said with a half smile. "You always have to show me up. It's part of every regeneration."

Romana gave a watery laugh, before she hugged the Doctor, her arms wrapping tightly around him. He melted into the embrace, his shoulders trembling slightly, but Romana knew better than to bring it up. After a moment, she drew away, placing her fingertips on his temples.

"Time for me to go, Theta," she whispered with slight sadness. "It's not Time for you to remember yet. I'm sorry."

"I understand." From his eyes, he did understand. He opened his mind to her, allowing her to go in, extracting every memory, every wisp of her presence.

Romana allowed him to drift off into a sleep after it was done, lying the Time Lord on the couch after removing his coat for a more peaceful sleep. She swiped a tear away from her face as she departed, taking one last glance over her shoulder to look at his sleeping form. Swallowing hard, Romana shut the door firmly behind her, hurrying out of his TARDIS, the familiar presence leaving her mind as the old girl dematerialized away into the Vortex.

Romana slipped away into the shadows. Sirens whined as they pulled onto the street, the reports of a gunshot attracting the attention of the local authorities. Romana hurried back to the TARDIS, where she muttered a quick explanation to her team members, telling them that the fixed point had been repaired, and that this was not a suitable Time period, and that they should prepare for dematerialization as soon as possible.

That form of the Doctor, if she was being perfectly honest, frightened her. Not so much because of what he was capable of- because she knew that already- but the places his being alone would drive him to. She had felt his mind. It was lonely. Dark. Empty. She'd had to force herself away from her oldest friend. She didn't think she would be able to leave him if she'd hung on for much longer.

But she had to remind herself that he would, somehow, some way, work himself out of it. He had a Twelfth form. He would make it. Without her.

That thought gave her hearts what she considered to be a very unnecessary pang of emotion.

She took a deep breath, and forced herself back into reality.


End file.
